orion-thrasher:

Honestly the Jedi would have worked better as nomadic vigilante warrior monks who just protect Outer Rim people from oppressive regimes and/or land owners and encourage local populations to be self-determinate and egalitarian instead of fucking SPACE WIZARD COPS. No temples or order, but magical ronin blended into the populace of the galaxy who live lives of simplicity and austerity.

The Jedi Knights are democratically equal in rank and privilege, and only seek guidance from elderly masters, strong in the Force after years of study and meditation. Masters, like the mysterious Yoda, are spread throughout the galaxy and can only be summoned in times of absolute crisis.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

The Confederation of Independent Corporations, an Outer Rim megaconglomerate, start kidnapping Jedi to create a force sensitive clone army to seize control from the Republic, collapse the government, and establish a galaxy only lead by the corporations.

All the meanwhile the Jedi have no choice but to send their liasons, hotheaded ace pilot Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, to the Inner Rim Republic capitol Coruscant, and speak Chancellor Valorum in order to establish an alliance to stop the CIC. Obi-Wan is annoyed with Anakin’s brash ways and their differing outlooks drive a divide between them.

Behind the backs of the Republic, Valorum’s aide General Palpatine of the Republic Army (secretly a darksider named Sidious) tries to seduce Anakin to the dark side because he senses “a deep, untapped power within him” and wants to play both sides of the conflict in order to establish the ancient, totalitarian Sith Empire, the only political entity to encompass the entire galaxy.

Anakin falls in love with Princess Padme Organa, a patriotic senator from Alderaan who is apposed to her brother, Prince Bail, and his revolutionary seperatist politics. Anakin and Obi-Wan also befriend hard-drinking Republic pilot Owen Lars, and Obi-Wan becomes concerned as Anakin drifts away from the Jedi path, becoming more militaristic under the tutelage of Palpatine, and in turn more and more enthralled with the path of the dark side…

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

The galaxy erupts into full conflict, as the Jedi commanding Republic Troopers wage war against the CIC Clone Army. Obi-Wan is reluctant to take part in the conflict while Lars accuses Obi-Wan of being unpatriotic and his unwillingness being a sign of harboring CIC sympathies. (This will lead to a life-long distrust of Kenobi). Anakin faces Kenobi, and Anakin disavows the Jedi path, handing over his lightsaber to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, abandoned by his apprentice, seeks out Yoda, said to be the wisest and oldest of Jedi in hopes to bring Anakin back. Anakin becomes Palpatine’s personal saboteur, and his first act is assassinating Valorum. Palpatine becomes chancellor, and declares the formation of a elite unit of uniformed soldiers; the Stormtrooper Corps.

Obi-Wan finds Yoda on the planet of Dagobah, saying he is concerned with the Jedi, who once swore allegiance only to the downtrodden and oppressed, now commanding entire armies. Yoda says the Force is being forced out of harmony by an ancient evil, and the Jedis’ iron will is weakened by said evil. Obi-Wan fears the return of the Sith, and Yoda agrees. Yoda says perhaps it is too late for Anakin, but it is best to put his faith in the Force above anything else. Anakin, with Padme by his side, publicly declares his abandonment of the Jedi, and pledges allegiance to the Republic, and is awarded the rank of General to lead the Stormtroopers, Obi-Wan devastated his apprentice’s fall, and has no choice but to hide until the time is right…

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The war is in stalemate. The general populace of the galaxy are increasingly opposed to the Clone Wars. Palpatine assigns Anakin to bomb the Republic senate, claiming to use the bombing to rally support from the galaxy’s citizens against the CIC. Palpatine claimed Padme would not be in the Senate building that day, but when Anakin sees her within, he desperately tries to save her before the building goes up in flames. Padme makes it out safely, but Anakin is crushed underneath the weight of the exploding building. Padme is devastated by the loss of Anakin and Bail. Publicly, and against what he told Anakin, Palpatine claims Anakin was an radical agent of the Jedi, bombing the senate in protest of the Knights’ involvement in the war. Palpatine, clad in robes, declares emperor to a Galactic Empire to unite the entire galaxy and combat the “true” threat, the Jedi. Obi-Wan knows Palpatine is lying. While most of the Jedi are massacred by their platoons, the rest desert and go into hiding, while Obi-Wan comes out of exile and goes to face Palpatine.

Owen reluctantly returns Obi-Wan to Coruscant, and seeks out Padme, who is in mourning. He approaches her, but recognizes not only her life force, but two others. She is pregnant with twins. Padme reveals she had been hiding her pregnancy in order to keep up appearances in the Senate. Padme tells Obi-Wan what happened to Anakin, and fears she might be implicated in the bombing if she’s revealed to the public as the only senator to survive, so she must stay in hiding. Unbeknownst to the rest of the galaxy, Palpatine salvages Anakin’s body and rebuilds him as Darth Vader, with little to no memory of his past life.

Obi-Wan has Padme go with Owen to Yoda, while Obi-Wan will hunt down Palpatine. Obi-Wan stalks Palpatine who leaves Coruscant to an unknown destination. Obi-Wan steals a Republic starfighter and follows the shuttle to the CIC homeworld. Obi-Wan is confused by this. As he continues to follow the Emperor, he sees the Emperor meeting with the CIC leaders. It is revealed Palpatine was the puppet master behind the CIC. Palpatine claims the CIC’s usefulness is through, and a stoic black figure enters through another door. Obi-Wan senses this presence. He may have never seen this person before, but he knows it. This is Anakin Skywalker, reborn into a Sith monster. Obi-Wan knows he mustn’t tell Padme the truth, for what has happened to Anakin is much, much worse than death. Vader ignites his red lightsaber, and slaughters the CIC officials.

As Vader and Palpatine arrive on the landing pad of their shuttle, they are greeted by Kenobi, surrounded by the corpses of the Emperor’s guard. Vader and Kenobi duel, and Vader is nearly defeated by Kenobi, only for Palpatine to intervene. Palpatine begins torturing Obi-Wan with force lightning. Owen swoops down in his ship, firing at Palpatine. Palpatine, pushed to the ledge by the blaster fire, is hit in the shoulder and falls off the ledge, and lands onto a passing speeder, escaping without a trace.

Owen sees the body of Vader lying on the pad. He asks Obi-Wan who that is, and Obi-Wan responds, “The man that killed Anakin Skywalker. The man who bombed the Senate.” The Clone Army surrender to the Stormtroopers, only to be slaughtered on battlefields across the galaxy. Owen and Obi-Wan return to Yoda and Padme. Yoda says Padme is going into labor. The twins are born. Obi-Wan and Owen go to Owen’s homeplanet of Tatooine with Luke, while Yoda takes Padme back to Alderaan, living the rest of her life in hiding from the rest of the galaxy (who think she died with Bail in the senate) in the Alderaanian Royal Palace. Yoda returns to Dagobah, to live the rest of his life, like Obi-Wan, in hiding from the Empire until the time is right for a new hope to appear…

So yeah. Things are a little bit more in continuity with the OT. Obi-Wan only knows Anakin is Darth Vader, Leia would be raised by her mother, the Clones are clones of Jedi so that works with Jorus C’baoth and the Thrawn Trilogy and stuff (even though that isn’t even canon anymore but fuck you), Padme and Anakin’s personalities are a lot more, well, sensible, and it makes sense why the Jedi get involved in the Republic instead of being stupid space cops. Plus no stupid lightsaber-using Yoda.

The end.

maskedriderbiocore:

pedeef:

pyrrhiccomedy:

medicine:

as a general rule. if what we’re calling ‘cultural appropriation’ sounds like nazi ideology (i.e. ‘white people should only do white people things and black people should only do black people things’) with progressive language, we are performing a very very poor application of what ‘cultural appropriation’ means. this is troublingly popular in the blogosphere right now and i think we all need to be more critical of what it is we may be saying or implying, even unintentionally.

There is nothing wrong with everyone enjoying each other’s cultures so long as those cultures have been shared. 

Eating Chinese food, watching Bollywood movies, going to see Cambodian dancers, or learning to speak Korean so you can watch every K drama in existence is totally fine. The invitation to participate in those things came from within those cultures. The Mexican family that owns the place where I get fajitas wants me to eat fajitas. Their whole business model kind of depends on it, actually. 

If you see something from another culture you think you might want to participate in, but you don’t know if that would be disrespectful or appropriative, you can just…ask. Like. A Jewish friend explained what a mezuzah was to me, recently. (It’s the little scroll-thing near their front doors that they touch when they come into their house. It basically means “this is a Jewish household.”)

“Oh, cool,” I said. “Can I touch it? Or is it only for Jewish people?”

“You can touch it or you can not touch it,” she said. “I don’t care.”

“Cool, I’m gonna touch it, then.”

“Cool.”

It’s not hard.

You want to twerk, twerk. I’ve never heard a black person say they didn’t think anybody else should be allowed to twerk. Just that they want us to acknowledge that they invented that shit, not Miley fucking Cyrus.

this is a good post.

Thank you, I was trying to sort this out in my head but you explained it very well.